Why Change

Change is a constant thing. Our environment is changing. The people around us are changing. If you have kids, they grow, they develop new habits and learn new things. In other words, change is inevitable. Change is something we all need to deal with.

We all know this. But why is it that coping with change is difficult? The normal reaction is to resist, not to embrace. People would rather stay in their comfort zone.

I believe that to resist change is a rebellion against the forces of nature. Let me explain.

Everything around us are systems. The earth we live in is full of systems. The atmospheric circulation process, photosynthesis, and so on. Our human body is composed of several systems. We have the digestive system, respiratory system, nervous system, and others. Throughout history, man also made a lot of systems to put order to the way we live. You and me, we all have our own personal systems. In my household, we don’t wake up simultaneously. I have my own daily routine, my wife has her own daily routine. Etan has his own. It is when these systems interact that we experience – Change.

We need to look at change on a different perspective. Here are a few:

Change is about respect. In our household, i believe the reason why we live in harmony is because we respect each others’ routine. I’m an early riser. How I wish my wife is too, but she’s not. My wife works all day and she deserves all the sleep that she can get. Instead of insisting for her to wake up early, I make these early morning hours as my me-time. When she wakes up, I draw my me-time to a close and open our-time.

Sometimes I am not done with my me-time but I am happy to close it because it validates my belief that US is more important than I.

Change is about thinking of other people. I am the leader in our household. As the head of my family, I need to lead them to a better future. If I go with my instincts I would probably go to the mall, watch movies and eat popcorn the whole day because it’s fun. But I cannot do that. I need to forget my instincts and focus on something more productive because I need to change for the better for my family and for the people around me. The key is to forget what you need to undergo or what you need to give up but to focus on what other people can become because of what you will do.

Change is about anticipating the future. My two year old son loves buses. He has a collection of buses. But everytime we buy him a new one, he would be amazed as if it is his first time to see a bus. Then he would play with it the whole day, pouring out all his emotions. He surely enjoys what is happening in the present.

This scene is so precious to us because we are reminded to just cherish the joy and pleasure of the present. We seldom allow these precious moments to drift by and rather than focus on the regrets of the past and worry about the future. Life is about tiny successes. When we appreciate the joy and happiness happening in the present, it gives us hope and anticipate a better future.

If you think back a few days ago and all your interactions with your family, your friends, your colleagues at the office, the waiter in the restaurant that served your food, the security guard that opened the door for you, if you believe that even a tiny interaction could have changed a person’s life, what could you have done differently?